tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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