You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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