porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
