a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize