have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
