pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
