I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
