I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
