And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
