just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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