Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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