i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
