let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
