I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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