so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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