DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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