i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
