I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
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He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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