I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
