Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
