i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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