so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
