The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
