What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
