that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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