Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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