I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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