yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
