Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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