weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
