We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
