He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
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Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
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My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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