Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
