just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
