Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
