my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
