omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
