dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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