Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
