she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize