Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How does one acquire holy water?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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