Need sex. Gaining weight.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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