god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
