yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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