Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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