She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
