you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Farmville is her only friend.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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