I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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