Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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