this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
