1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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