fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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