im having a threesome with these popsicles
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
