Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
