Just fell off a train. Bad.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
