I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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