my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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