So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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