I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
