Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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