Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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