Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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