Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
