Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize