$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
tell me about the eggs
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize