16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
